In a strangers car headed to some hurried location,
I smell of whiskey and lust.
The sky is clear from the storm that left nothing but one day of wet sidewalks.
I hear music but I’m in my own mind. Nothing but wishes for tomorrow so I forget to enjoy right now..
I’m anxious about being social tonight.
I smell of whiskey and lust with no one to share it with
There is a storm growing outside my window.
I’m afraid he’s going to blow us away.
The trees even seem scared of him.
They are quieter than normal.
Their leaves move, but I hear
no sound.
They look different, unfamiliar.
There is a noise from the storm.
thunder
He’s letting us all know he’s here.
He is his stronger than normal.
He is angrier than normal.
I’m here to leave a mark
he says.
The trees are afraid of him.
Don’t let him blow us away.
I’m afraid
I’ll have left no trace
if he does…
I stood, leaned up against the counter in the silent kitchen..
Eating peanut butter and grape jelly on toasted white bread like some sort of toddler..
Before that I sat around playing games and wasting my precious time while wondering why I was alone on a Saturday night..
I think, Apathy is my best friend while dreams of tomorrow’s motivation move me..
They say the eyes are the window to the soul (or somethin like that) and tonight mine are dry with exhaustion acting as the drapes..
and I submit to every passing night I spend alone as if something better may one day emerge but I really don’t know that it will..
Except this toast.. I think I’ll make more toast.. And be content in the quiet..
Good night..
Some times I wish for years before, the early 20’s of my life.
I had made few mistakes then, and could have done anything in life.
To be young,
To be loved by someone again.
To feel the feeling of anticipation of hearing from someone you truly love.
I had choices. I had time.
Not now. I’ve tainted a reputation that can never be undone.
Hurting people I love, being hurt by people I shouldn’t have ever trusted..
When I met him, A love light was ignited and it burned with intensity. I remember things that I did and learned that still make me smile.
I thought I had found someone who could fix all my heart’s broken pieces.. But choices were made and now I am alone. And that love light is lost, dim and hidden away. So now I am Alone in a life that has lead me to nothing. Wasted days, wasted money, and nights I’ll never remember. What have I become, I wonder..
I wander…
And when I dream at night it’s not about here or now.. It’s about a different life where I have it all. Not like this one, where I wake up alone..
So now I’ll dream away about his love and my life and how wonderful it could be.. Then I will wake up alone tomorrow and my eyes will sting from reality.
I’m sitting in a bar
Alone
With the closest thing
I have
to a friend.
I try not to stare at the others here.
I try not to draw attention to myself
As I drink
Alone.
These drinks
Don’t count
As a form of love.
But the warmth I feel
In my chest
Reminds me
That i am
Alive.
I’ll order another
As i wear his shirt
That smells like the whisk and the cigs .
There’s that feeling in my chest…
And yes,
I’ll have another.
The storm met the trees with a serious face. The trees smiled back with a grin of insanity.
“Let’s see who can push harder”, the storm would yell with the dark circles in his eyes.
Gently the tree would wave and whisper, “It’s you again storm? I’ve felt your force before. all you have done yet is torment my ends.”
The storm blew on…
and still they worked above us, waiting for the other.
to break.
At night,
I’m awake and the world is sleeping,
I’m somewhere between almost awake and almost dreaming.
My eyes will burn.
And the moon will shine like its never seen the city before.
I’ve forgotten what it’s like to dream.
I’ve forgotten what it’s like…
And again the moon.
He’s so bright that I can’t help but stop and stare.
“I’m sorry for staring sir but you are something rare ”
He will smile back at me like we have been friends for so long.
My eyes will burn.
And I’ve forgotten what it’s like to dream.
At least he hasn’t forgotten me.
I’m sorry for staring sir.
But we are something rare
Today I begin sobriety.
I hope it doesn’t kill my writing.
Goodbye Whiskey.
mymindwrites 