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If only you could see this sky…

I wish you could see this sky.

The sun has broken through the moisture filled clouds,

giving me a glimpse of what I have been missing.

The mountains are lit up by the persistent bright star.

Soft pinks and bright blues cause me to wonder if this is even real…

A fresh layer of snow,

a perfect color-less white,

Reflects all the vivid hues I wish I could recreate…

The clouds hang so low,

I am almost certain I could reach up and wrap one around my wrist,

in hopes that it will pull me away…

What does it mean,

when the world makes your heart flutter?

I’m standing in a field

With nothing but the sound of grass as it’s pushed by a small breeze..

I can feel the sun on my body, warming me as I face upward toward the star. 

I am alone in this field 

I am alone in this because I’m waiting…

With the Sun still on me I turn to leave.. I turn to chase a new location.. maybe somewhere with fireflys for me to dance with..

I’m waiting for you to find me.. 

I’m tired of looking, tired of chasing you.. so I’ve learned to dance alone under the eternal sky.. 

come find me..


I may leave no trace

That I was ever


In a strangers car headed to some hurried location,

I smell of whiskey and lust.

The sky is clear from the storm that left nothing but one day of wet sidewalks.

I hear music but I’m in my own mind. Nothing but wishes for tomorrow so I forget to enjoy right now..

I’m anxious about being social tonight. 

I smell of whiskey and lust with no one to share it with

Blowing Away

There is a storm growing outside my window.
I’m afraid he’s going to blow us away.

The trees even seem scared of him.
They are quieter than normal.
Their leaves move, but I hear
no sound.
They look different, unfamiliar.

There is a noise from the storm.

He’s letting us all know he’s here.
He is his stronger than normal.
He is angrier than normal.

I’m here to leave a mark

he says.

The trees are afraid of him.
Don’t let him blow us away.
I’m afraid
I’ll have left no trace

if he does…

At 3 AM

There is a woman who sits at the end of my bed.

She sits so still,

as if not to disturb me.

She sits but it is not concerning to me.

She is tall and thin,

her hair is too dark to see in the black of 3 AM.

She is not groomed,

her nails so long you have to notice,

so long you can almost feel them on your neck.

I can feel her seeing me.

We both sit silently during the night.

I can feel her seeing me.

She starts to move,

she starts to hum.

The tune is new to me.

It is a melodic remedy to the silence this room holds.

She hums louder.

She goes.

i forget everything and all i can do is follow…

So now,

in the black of 3 AM,

here we sit,

silently at the end of some other persons bed.


I stood, leaned up against the counter in the silent kitchen..

Eating peanut butter and grape jelly on toasted white bread like some sort of toddler..

Before that I sat around playing games and wasting my precious time while wondering why I was alone on a Saturday night..

I think, Apathy is my best friend while dreams of tomorrow’s motivation move me..

They say the eyes are the window to the soul (or somethin like that) and tonight mine are dry with exhaustion acting as the drapes..

and I submit to every passing night I spend alone as if something better may one day emerge but I really don’t know that it will..

Except this toast.. I think I’ll make more toast.. And be content in the quiet.. 

Good night..

Do I paint this?

Hungry Man and Carrot Face 

Some times I wish for years before, the early 20’s of my life.

I had made few mistakes then, and could have done anything in life.

To be young,

To be loved by someone again.

To feel the feeling of anticipation of hearing from someone you truly love.

I had choices. I had time. 

Not now. I’ve tainted a reputation that can never be undone. 

Hurting people I love, being hurt by people I shouldn’t have ever trusted.. 

When I met him, A love light was ignited and it burned with intensity. I remember things that I did and learned that still make me smile. 

I thought I had found someone who could fix all my heart’s broken pieces.. But choices were made and now I am alone. And that love light is lost, dim and hidden away. So now I am Alone in a life that has lead me to nothing. Wasted days, wasted money, and nights I’ll never remember. What have I become, I wonder..

I wander… 

And when I dream at night it’s not about here or now.. It’s about a different life where I have it all. Not like this one, where I wake up alone..

So now I’ll dream away about his love and my life and how wonderful it could be.. Then I will wake up alone tomorrow and my eyes will sting from reality.