Some times I wish for years before, the early 20’s of my life.
I had made few mistakes then, and could have done anything in life.
To be young,
To be loved by someone again.
To feel the feeling of anticipation of hearing from someone you truly love.
I had choices. I had time.
Not now. I’ve tainted a reputation that can never be undone.
Hurting people I love, being hurt by people I shouldn’t have ever trusted..
When I met him, A love light was ignited and it burned with intensity. I remember things that I did and learned that still make me smile.
I thought I had found someone who could fix all my heart’s broken pieces.. But choices were made and now I am alone. And that love light is lost, dim and hidden away. So now I am Alone in a life that has lead me to nothing. Wasted days, wasted money, and nights I’ll never remember. What have I become, I wonder..
And when I dream at night it’s not about here or now.. It’s about a different life where I have it all. Not like this one, where I wake up alone..
So now I’ll dream away about his love and my life and how wonderful it could be.. Then I will wake up alone tomorrow and my eyes will sting from reality.